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Understanding Anger

posted 7 May 2015, 10:59 by Tim Elliston   [ updated 14 May 2015, 01:48 ]
By Karen Lang

“I would not look upon anger as something foreign to me that I have to fight…..I have to deal with my anger with care, with love, with tenderness, with nonviolence” Thich Nhat Hanh

How many of us were told as children, not to show our anger or tears? Where does all that anger go when it is suppressed over a long time? Unfortunately it doesn’t go away and if you were not taught how to let go of anger, it can be a time bomb just waiting to explode.

Of course anger is unleashed everywhere in society today. It’s almost a given right now to show your anger to anyone who is in your way. Road rage, Disgruntled employees, Students angry at teachers, Husbands, wives and children all fighting about who isn’t doing enough or that no-one feels listened too.

It never feels good to see someone get angry or lose control but the only reason people lose control is because they have ignored their feelings. When we don’t acknowledge and deal with the first signs of anger or rejection, we allow a build up of emotion.

People will forget what you said to them….but they will never forget how you made them feel. Carl W Buechner

We need to become aware of our feelings each day, we need to let go of our fear of being heard and become conscious of our thoughts towards ourselves and others.

How often do you share a story with someone about how you have been wronged by a family member or friend that was rude or angry at you. Instead of us saying something to the right person at the time, (which takes courage)…..we decide it’s easier to spread the negative story to friends, which in turn helps our anger grow, and feeds our victim-hood.

Anger blinds us and fatigues us physically, emotionally and spiritually. Although anger often gives us a feeling of power and allows us to intimidate others, when we give in to anger, we continue to foster the situations that feed that rage.

We discover we are constantly surrounded by unfriendly people, from the shop owner or work colleagues because anger unconsciously invites others to feed off our irritation and resentment.

Many of the faults you see in others, dear reader, are your own nature reflected in them. Rumi

Genuine power lies in the ability to practice peace when confronted by someone else’s fury. When we don’t engage in the drama of another person’s anger we can learn to see the pain in ourselves and others.

Don’t pretend that anger is not apart of our emotions, feel it and let it go. If we can practice stillness and peace each day, we will learn to see the emotional blockages we have created and allow change and freedom in our life.

Any time we feel those negative emotions come up, it’s a voice from deep within ourselves asking to be heard. Somewhere inside, there’s a being that is crying out for love and caring, because it’s feeling hurt, afraid, lonely, or is just simply in pain. That suffering being is you.

To create peace, you have to let go of your need to be right. If you believe you can’t experience peace until you have worked through your anger, you are wrong. We need to make peace a conscious choice each day and allow forgiveness and acceptance of ourselves and others inside our heart.

” Love knows no answer for it does not question.” -silent lotus

Karen Lang