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Attachment

posted 10 May 2015, 05:09 by Tim Elliston   [ updated 14 May 2015, 04:32 ]
By Louise Jensen

I find myself writing this at 3 am. I have sold my house and although consciously I had made the choice to sell, unconsciously I had reservations and found myself rather emotional over what is, ultimately, a pile of bricks. I had been happily living in the present moment when the offer came through and I was thrown head first back into a past full of reminiscing and regrets. All my teachings vanished in an instant and I was left with a serious case of Attachment. So what is it, and what can we do about it?

We can, at times, chase happiness relentlessly because we have the false belief it comes from outside of ourselves. However, as things outside of ourselves can cause anxiety and stress wouldn't it be better if we could experience the quiet joy of being without putting conditions on it? How many times have you thought “when I get …... I will be so happy”, “when ….. happens my life will be perfect”. We relentlessly pursue things we desire and although they can make us momentarily happy when we obtain then, invariably we then end up wanting something else. Modern day society has left us longing for things we think we have to have in order to experience life more pleasurably. We are left being more attached to our beliefs of “I need”and “I want” than the actual object. Of course attachment isn't solely to objects, we can form attachment to people and ideas just as easily. We all want to feel loved, worthy, wanted etc. and grasp the belief that someone can provide this for us. Even if we do see that someone can't give us what we want we cling on vainly to the belief that they can. If we continue to view a person through the filter of our fear based requirements that they make us feel a certain way, we are setting ourselves up for rejection and disappointment. So, do we want to be attached or happy? Habitually many of us hang on to our core beliefs that make us unhappy, believing that we are unworthy, unlovable can provide a sense of stability in the familiar feelings even when they make us miserable.

To attain true freedom from attachment we need to have freedom from our beliefs. Once we recognise that we use our beliefs of a shield against fears to maintain attachment we can begin to loosen our hold. Rather than demanding and needing (which can fuel anger if these demands and needs are not met) we can start preferring. As we can only become attached to things that we see as separate to ourselves, if we become fully unified with the universe there is nothing outside of you, nothing to attach to. We can then experience genuine life beyond fear, which leaves us with love and peace. How awesome would that feeling be?

To explore this concept further please see our workshop page.

Louise Jensen
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